I was thinking about death, those whom I've lost and how that changes my life. It's more than just the intense longing for their presence, that is just painful, it's the loss of my past and my future that is so difficult to deal with. I miss my son, I miss my step-brother, I miss my step-father, I miss my father. I miss their presence in my life. I miss their contribution to my life and all the things they brought to the feast. It was their personalities, their lives, their contributions, their love, their compassionate and giving natures that made me who I was, without them I am simply not the same person...and now they are all gone. That makes me wonder who I am. Frankly, I'm just not sure anymore.
A husband and wife (spouse/partner) generally have different ways to soothe their sorrows, express their grief, and to move forward in life. Finding a balance that respects each other is imperative to land in a healing place. Moving forward can be challenging and scary because all the while you want desperately to keep alive the memory of what was once the living representation of your union. My husband and I have very different ways of coping with our grief. I see him as an active griever. My way is a bit more clandestine. He finds comfort in listening to the songs our son enjoyed, driving his truck, visiting the places he went. For him, these things are a connection to our son. To be in concert with a person who knew Wyatt, or to be in a place they were together is a heartbeat for him. Me, I retreat to a veiled silence. The songs, the places, the things; more often than not, they evoke fear and sorrow in my heart. The marrow of my being hurts an...
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