Regrets...I've got a few

There are these things in life that we call regrets. I've lots of them. I don't regret being a mom, and yes, I would do it all over again even if I knew the agony of this sorrow. Would I have done things differently; without question. Thus, I regret not doing the things in life that spoke to my inner soul, those things we think about as being good and right but we find ourselves too afraid to do or because they seem implausible or risky - outside the boundaries of acceptable and upstanding living.

I can't help but wonder if only I'd done them that somehow our Wyatt would be with us today. From the mundane of moving to a different house, buying some land, saying no a little more and pushing a little harder, to the complex dream of taking our life to a more altruistic path to help others in need, showing and sharing compassion to those who hurt. But, these are things I can not change now, I can't make them happen now, not like they needed to be, not like it should have been.

Yet, this pulling at my heart continues to tell me to change drastically this life I'm living. This unknown force is pulling me to become the person I see myself as being. The person that I wish I were. Sure, I can go do some of those things we talked about, but it's not the same, I wouldn't be doing it with him. And really, isn't that all that really mattered; him, us, family.

So, yes, I have regrets.

I've lots of them; I imagine I always will.

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