Enter the Cuckoo's Nest

Well, it's hit me; At least it seems that way. I could do it today, I could leave this place and never return and never miss it. All I want is my son. All I want is to see him, to hear him, to put my arms around him and hold him tight, to tell him that I love him, that I'm proud of him.

Do you know what it's like to want something so badly and at the same time know that you will never, ever have it? Nothing you do, no matter how hard you strive, no matter the prayers, the begging and pleading, the good deeds or simply asking, it will never ever be. We go insane from things of this nature…I’ve seen it happen, I feel it in my soul. Enter the Cuckoo's Nest, my lair of nefarious thoughts and ill repose, replete with danger, fraught with fear and horrific dreams; no longer free to live this life, I fight to be.

I don’t want to be, not here, not now.

I’ve no future, I’ve no hope, I’ve no dreams, I’ve nothing, nothing at all…

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Blessings

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Living with Loss

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