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Like a cancer

DOES THIS EVER END?  I wonder some days if this will ever end, will I ever be able to step out of this cyclone of grief and be human.  Sorrow sits like a tumor in my throat.  I want to scream, hit, break things and curse at humanity. The senselessness of it all is baffling. Anger, like a cancer takes over everything else, it suffocates life and strangles any chance of healing.  If only I could control the anger.  If only they had paid for their negligence.  If only the country had laws that protected workers instead of companies.  If only corporations were truly made to be accountable for their employees' safety.  If only irresponsible workers and lazy administrators were fired.  If only grown men and women would act like adults. If only, If only, If only....

But they were not adults, they were not responsible, they were lazy; my son died at their hands, because of their negligence. For that my blood boils, for that I am angry, for that, I will always find them guilty. Forgiveness is not within my soul, not now, maybe not ever.

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