Skip to main content
We're getting ready to take a wonderful trip and I've been so excited about it.  It's our escape from the holiday of Thanksgiving.  I just can't bring myself to do Thanksgiving the same way as we did before. It was our favorite holiday...visiting with family, filling our bellies with culinary delights, sitting by the fire, chatting about life.  It was the best of times and we loved it. So, now we run away from that beautiful memory of our past existence, hoping that life will stop being so painful.

I bought a beautiful new dress and have been so excited about wearing it to one of the fabulous Vegas shows. I began packing and getting things together, then suddenly, it hit me. The tears began to rage. My chest began to tighten and finally the dam opened. Always like a fist to the chest, it knocks me down and I can do nothing but cry and hurt, and know there is no balm for this sorrow. I felt so ashamed, so selfish, for in that moment, I realized that I've been so consumed with my self, with my sorrow, with my feelings, with my loss, with my pain...that I haven't really thought about everything that Wyatt will not get to do and see and be. All of life and living that was taken from him so wickedly. Now, I can't stop crying for him and that pain is so much greater.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Rule your mind

Rule your mind or it will rule you."  — Horace What a powerful thought when applied to grieving.  It made me think... When grieving, one must rule their mind, or grief will rule. Grief is sadistic and insidious.  Grief cares not for the heart. Grief is selfish. Grief smothers your breath, steals your joy,  eclipses your soul.  Grief is powerful.  Grief will hijack your thoughts and  take you down  a treacherous path     of haunting memories  and lost dreams. Grief is a part of you,         never separated,                    never disentangled.                             Grief must be trained and controlled. Grief must be guided, cultivated, refined,  embraced, loved, accepted, respected, &  held.    mwlambeth   © 2021
Post a Comment
Read more

Blessings

  Wyatt It's been over ten years since we said our final goodbye to the human form of our son. Following his death we created a nonprofit organization to help support the Wyatt Lambeth Legacy Welding Scholarship at Lively Technical College. Through this foundation, we granted $500  scholarships to 38 students in the Lively Welding Program and distributed multiple  grinders and Georgia boots.  The scholarships have been a healing salve and each donor, each recipient, and each person who applied for a scholarship was and is a valuable part of our grief journey. Selecting recipients was challenging and we always wished we could give more, could help more. Ultimately, the gift is knowing we do what we can and each person who received a scholarship, a grinder, or a new pair of boots, was one step closer to the future he or she set in motion.  In our hearts we are confident Wyatt would be pleased to help his fellow students in this way.  While we have dissolved t...
Post a Comment
Read more

Seeing God Where I am

O God, who created all peoples in your image, we thank you for the wonderful diversity of races and cultures in this world. Enrich our lives by ever-widening circles of fellowship, and show us your presence in those who differ most from us, until our knowledge of your love is made perfect in our love for all your children; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.   Carolyn A. Rose I've had the distinct privilege in life to have traveled to various places, some vastly different from my home, and some quite similar.  Regardless of the magnitude of differences, I can always feel the uniqueness of the place. After a while, certainly I long for the familiar comfort of home... but I always return with a fuller heart and a more open mind. Then it's like a siren song calling me back to seek more, ask more, learn more and inwardly digest it to build me into a more understanding and compassionate being.  In a class I am taking, we were posed this question: How have ...
Post a Comment
Read more