Skip to main content

It's Blue Pain

When Wyatt was a little boy and didn't feel well, he often struggled to explain what or where or how he hurt. What does it feel like, I would ask. "It's blue pain," he replied. As a mom, this frustrated me so because I knew something was ailing him, but "blue" pain didn't help me in determining what was wrong and how I could soothe him. I lamented over this many a time as he used this term for quite a while.  I finally determined it just meant he didn't feel well. As an adult we may have an off day where we just feel like hunkering down in the safety of a blanket, and escaping in the words of a good book. There are times we just need to be, not think, care, or worry... just be.

Blue pain is not obvious. Blue pain is encompassing and nefarious. Grief has become my blue pain.

Grief doesn't present itself so prominently any more, like a stomachache or headache;. This grief used to strut around like a rooster. I knew its presence, as did others. It was carved into my face. Like a headache, dull at the front of the brain, working down the forehead to the eye causing them to narrow in discomfort, shoulders slumped from the radiating pain. It's was unmistakable. "You have a headache," folks would ask. Yes, I do;  I knew it, they knew it, we all knew it was a headache. I wore my grief in the same manner, uncontrollable tears, fatigue, sadness, and all the characteristics of a grieving person were prominent in my outward appearance.

Blue pain, not so much. Blue pain has no outward appearance. Blue pain radiates from within.

So, when you're not quite sure what's wrong, when the grief accompanies you like an unwelcomed guest... you know it's ok for it to be there but you really wish it would go ahead and leave and someone asks, "are you ok?" Just respond with, "it's just blue pain."






Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Rule your mind

Rule your mind or it will rule you."  — Horace What a powerful thought when applied to grieving.  It made me think... When grieving, one must rule their mind, or grief will rule. Grief is sadistic and insidious.  Grief cares not for the heart. Grief is selfish. Grief smothers your breath, steals your joy,  eclipses your soul.  Grief is powerful.  Grief will hijack your thoughts and  take you down  a treacherous path     of haunting memories  and lost dreams. Grief is a part of you,         never separated,                    never disentangled.                             Grief must be trained and controlled. Grief must be guided, cultivated, refined,  embraced, loved, accepted, respected, &  held.    mwlambeth   © 2021

Blessings

  Wyatt It's been over ten years since we said our final goodbye to the human form of our son. Following his death we created a nonprofit organization to help support the Wyatt Lambeth Legacy Welding Scholarship at Lively Technical College. Through this foundation, we granted $500  scholarships to 38 students in the Lively Welding Program and distributed multiple  grinders and Georgia boots.  The scholarships have been a healing salve and each donor, each recipient, and each person who applied for a scholarship was and is a valuable part of our grief journey. Selecting recipients was challenging and we always wished we could give more, could help more. Ultimately, the gift is knowing we do what we can and each person who received a scholarship, a grinder, or a new pair of boots, was one step closer to the future he or she set in motion.  In our hearts we are confident Wyatt would be pleased to help his fellow students in this way.  While we have dissolved t...

Seeing God Where I am

O God, who created all peoples in your image, we thank you for the wonderful diversity of races and cultures in this world. Enrich our lives by ever-widening circles of fellowship, and show us your presence in those who differ most from us, until our knowledge of your love is made perfect in our love for all your children; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.   Carolyn A. Rose I've had the distinct privilege in life to have traveled to various places, some vastly different from my home, and some quite similar.  Regardless of the magnitude of differences, I can always feel the uniqueness of the place. After a while, certainly I long for the familiar comfort of home... but I always return with a fuller heart and a more open mind. Then it's like a siren song calling me back to seek more, ask more, learn more and inwardly digest it to build me into a more understanding and compassionate being.  In a class I am taking, we were posed this question: How have ...