As with many things in our lives, there is a requirement for
balance. Life is a bit like the human body, fragile, complex, and
unpredictable.
We know the story when the balance is off…. It’s generally bad, if not initially… it gets there. The balancing act of life is encompassing and requires synchronizing various parts to produce a fluid and positive outcome. This all makes sense
in the world of doing… but not so much in the world of being. Of being human, filled with emotion, tossed about by life’s ups and downs. That balancing
act requires us to hurt, to push through the wall of emotion, and to either break through to the other side, or succumb and die.
Think about emotions and their counter-point… With
confidence, one must also know fear. With intolerance, one must also know empathy;
with joy there is the shadow of sorrow. When the balance is off and one emotion takes the hill, we
enter the danger zone. Danger is sinister, it smells vulnerability.
Danger creates chaos.
Chaos darkens our perspective.
Danger creates chaos.
Chaos darkens our perspective.
For me the dark times have done more than disrupt my daily life, they have changed my life… oddly, I would say I am better for it. I wouldn’t say my life is better, for I don’t know what my life would be if it were different… but I believe I am a better person because of the darkness. Color the world in darkness and somewhere light will shine…. Bring forth the hounds, and the fox with start.
I still get anxious when the darkness descends. When darkness creeps in, I want to run away and hide from everyone and everything; retreat to a safe space. This I’ve discovered is my way of confronting the beast. I must meet the darkness so I can enter the light. The
darkness overwhelms my body, causes my heart to race, my thoughts to run amok
and anger and frustration to bubble within. Once I’ve felt the chaos, like a wicked and
furious storm, the calm enters. The calm
is rational thought, clarity in reality and the beginning of being able to
address the problem or break down a situation. The beauty of time is that this
process has become more familiar and I more adept at accepting it as part of my
life.
I still hate the darkness and the process of breaking
through it, but as with most things, the more we do it,
the more skilled we become. I don't believe I will ever welcome the darkness, but now I can recognize its presence and have begun to
build the tools needed to work through to the other side. I wish
this practice didn’t hurt my heart so much… but it does. Thanks be, I have
enough in me to want to get to the other side.
As with hope, there is fear
As with sadness, there is joy
As with anger, there is tolerance
As with loathing, there is longing
As with failure, there is accomplishment
As with darkness, there is light
©2020
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