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Resilience

You desire to know the art of living, my friend? It is contained in one phrase: make use of suffering.  ~ Henri Frederic Amiel
Elizabeth Edwards died today.  She lost her oldest son, Wade when he was 16.  She said she's not so afraid of death since his death.  I understand her words.  I'm not so afraid of death either, some days I long for death, so I can see my Wyatt.  Death is my passage to being with Wyatt again.  I long to see him, to sit and talk with him, to watch him grow, to be his mom, to see his future.  If death takes me to him then I am not afraid of death. 

Resilience comes in how I am dealing with Wyatt's death. Resilience is knowing that I can get up each morning even though when I look in his room I know I will not see him.  Resilience is smiling at other's happiness even when my heart is broken. Resilience is sharing company with friends when I wish to cover my head and hide in darkness. Resilience is taking the time to speak and be cordial when really I want to scream and show my anguish. Resilience is knowing my heart will never heal and still choosing to live.

One of the things Elizabeth Edwards said was we have to be resilient, we must make the best out of our situation, make the best of what this world gives us. That is resilience.  I will be resilient.

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