tears of sorrow fill my soul

It was a rough night. One of those nights when I felt the sting of Wyatt's death, the manifestation of his absence and the profound changes it brought to my existence. I cried for hours and tried to stifle the tears and shield myself from the sheer agony that arose from within my soul. I longed for a comforter but couldn't ask for one. I hurt more than the body could handle, and when that happens there is no choice but to shut down. There are moments in this journey when closing my mind to life if all I can do to survive.

All I know is the pain of Wyatt's death and his absence from this world is no less pronounced now than before and sometimes it seems greater.

Comments

Rule your mind

Rule your mind or it will rule you." — Horace What a powerful thought when applied to grieving. It made me think... When grieving, one must rule their mind, or grief will rule. Grief is sadistic and insidious. Grief cares not for the heart. Grief is selfish. Grief smothers your breath, steals your joy, eclipses your soul. Grief is powerful. Grief will hijack your thoughts and take you down a treacherous path of haunting memories and lost dreams. Grief is a part of you, never separated, never disentangled. Grief must be trained and controlled. Grief must be guided, cultivated, refined, embraced, loved, accepted, respected, & held. mwlambeth © 2021

Blessings

Wyatt It's been over ten years since we said our final goodbye to the human form of our son. Following his death we created a nonprofit organization to help support the Wyatt Lambeth Legacy Welding Scholarship at Lively Technical College. Through this foundation, we granted $500 scholarships to 38 students in the Lively Welding Program and distributed multiple grinders and Georgia boots. The scholarships have been a healing salve and each donor, each recipient, and each person who applied for a scholarship was and is a valuable part of our grief journey. Selecting recipients was challenging and we always wished we could give more, could help more. Ultimately, the gift is knowing we do what we can and each person who received a scholarship, a grinder, or a new pair of boots, was one step closer to the future he or she set in motion. In our hearts we are confident Wyatt would be pleased to help his fellow students in this way. While we have dissolved t...

Seeing God Where I am

O God, who created all peoples in your image, we thank you for the wonderful diversity of races and cultures in this world. Enrich our lives by ever-widening circles of fellowship, and show us your presence in those who differ most from us, until our knowledge of your love is made perfect in our love for all your children; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. Carolyn A. Rose I've had the distinct privilege in life to have traveled to various places, some vastly different from my home, and some quite similar. Regardless of the magnitude of differences, I can always feel the uniqueness of the place. After a while, certainly I long for the familiar comfort of home... but I always return with a fuller heart and a more open mind. Then it's like a siren song calling me back to seek more, ask more, learn more and inwardly digest it to build me into a more understanding and compassionate being. In a class I am taking, we were posed this question: How have ...

Living with Loss

Search This Blog